I DISLIKE YOU AUNT FLO

I DISLIKE YOU AUNT FLO!!! first your a week late then you make me tired bloated cranky and all i do is drink cherry coke and eat jelly beans while i smoke way to many cigarets when your here. FUCK YOU DON'T COME BACK!!!!!! boohooo booohooo awwwww sniffle sniffle. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo chocholate! :-)

to my boss

CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL HER TO LICK MY BALLS!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOSH GET YOUR OWN

empty bar

last night...well lets just say this the bar was filled with six people; three bartenders one crappy dj my ubu and myself. my screwdriver tasted like oj and my ubu's gin & tonic tasted like sprite. ewwwwww the flame ewwwwwww!!! so much for a good drink and company. i leave you with this i suck at pool and the egale rocks!!!

the time

holy crude i just realized what time it is. she's on her way back to georgia
:-(

panic attack

i can't remember what night it was but i freaked out the other night. i'm pretty sure it was friday night. well pumpkin head, twinkey and i were all in the bed and they were play attacking me. all i can really remember was the dog and the girl in my face, feeling completely restrained and having them right in my face barking and yelling.> i covered my face with my hands and started to sob into them. i remembered closing my eyes and having flashbacks and everything just hurting. at some point she rolled off of me and i squeezed myself into a fetal position i'm shaking and shaking and it stops then more shaking it's all flash backs. she's lightly caressing my hair and all i'm thinking is PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP...I HATE THESE FLASH BACKS PLEASE STOP!!!!!.

chalk...chalk...chalk

i can't wright i'm done. ok big fish and space twinky at trolley barn park. i did the fish pumpkinhead did space twinkey...

so i'm leaving work. i lock the door and head for the car. as i get closer to the smoking bench i start to here a rumbling sound. i notice all these wiener schnitzel warpers scatter all over the floor. then i realize that sound is coming from the guy passed out on the floor next to the smoking bench. this is the oddest thing i've ever seen. there are like 15 warpers scattered all over him he's sound asleep snoring on his back. then i notice this little brown bag amongst the mess... it's dvd porn!!!! holy shit it's boy boy porn!!!!! my first impulse is to kick him and tell him to find the nearest shelter...but then again he might have a shiv and would try to shank me. so,i just walk to my car and start it. as i put the car in reverse i realize i could steal his porn and have stolen bum gay porn to add to my collection..again the paranoia. what if he wakes up while i picking the porn off the ground. what if that porn is empty. what if what if... so i need a second opinion. i call miss pumpkin head. she said TAKE IT DO IT HELLYEAH!!!!!! so o.k. i'm gonna do it i tell her she said hee hee. i turned off my car and when to open the car door AND THEN.....HE MOOOOOOVES.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NO WAY, HE'S GONNA SHANK ME FUCK THE PORN. pumpkin head calls me a pansy. i drove home the end.

dogs are expensive!

holy fuck dogs are expensive. miss.pumpkin head just spent $107 bucks on her stinky pug face dog. amung one of the items she bought the dog was puppy ice cream. yes puppy ice cream. spoiled mutt also kisses her they toung eachother. open mouth toung waggin in mouth. then she has the gall to kiss me with that doggy slobber......ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!! oh well i still kiss her back.

BEFORE I FORGET

i lost my car today. i was leaving work. trying to lock the door with the keys and my bra (i hate boob traps they suck!!!) in the same hand and while my other hand is holding a large bottle of fiji water aka heroin water in the other. i get door lock just before the alarm is set to go off. i turn around take two steps and realize i can't remember where i parked. the good thing is the parking lot isn't that big. i found it in a minute. the scary part i left it unlocked and i don't exactly work in the best neighborhood...

CHEESE BOARD ANYONE?

cheese board anyone? i love cheese...i love cheese... i love cheese...AH HEM...I...LOVE...CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!!

HA HA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE CHEESE!

awww she misses me...

so this is what i saw when i charged my phone.
Twinkey cried when u left and now shes sittin by the window waitin for u its cute she misses u

now that just makes my cold heart go all squishy...

HER LICKS TASTE LIKE FISH

so...i just got in. i've spent the last two nights at that special someone's home. and i played with her puppy the whole time. i had a blast. i haven't been bitten by a rambunctious puppy in a while. i still have bite marks one my hand from her. NOW for the fishing story: so for the past few weeks she's been meaning to take me fishing with her due to sleeping in and guests from long ago and far away our plans had been detoured. until yesterday... let me leave you guys with this. two hours, right side of my back shoulder burned, one broken fishing poll, one fishing poll with no line, stinky lake elsinore, one fanatically over active puppy, one frustrated fisherwoman that makes me laugh....awww what a fun filled afternoon...

HOW TO EAT PUSSY

YEAH THATS RIGHT. I was looking for nanas to paint when i stumbled across this page. Can you fuckin believe this. The funny part is i found it while i was listening to brazilian girls pussy on the ipod. HAAAAAAAAAA What a quink-e-dink. The brush idea is a good one.

NASTY!

Class can we say EWWWWWW...

EWWWWWW!!!

slept hard

OMG I FEEL LIKE SHIT... i actually went to be at a decent hour (1am). i was trying to text someone back my eyes were rolling to the back and i was swaying, thats when the room started spinning. i slept stright through the text that was sent shortly after (like 3min later). the next thing i know my alarm was going off. i slept hard!!!

drip drip drip

feelin kind of melty this morning...

a painting by drella jones

my boys

so i basically i grew up the oldest of 4 the only girl. now that i'm older i realize how amazing my brothers are. we were latchkey kids without the keys (LOL). i remember hoisting my brother (eric) up on my shoulders, into my parents bathroom window to get in the house. i can still see his little feet disappearing into that window. oh gosh we're all grown up now...shit fuck that! eric's still my buddy victor will always be my baby and diego still the asthmatic geek!!!