my gay man weekend :-)

this is charlie my ubu's boyfriend. he has shoes and socks i'm going to steal one day ;-)

this is joel. he's charles friend. he and i have similar personalities now if he only had a vagina a pair of breasts and was 5 foot 2 (lol) i like joel he rocks.

oh yeah he loves his short shorts

he also came with orchids. i love orchids. did you know that in victorian times woman were prohibited from viewing these beauties due to there sexual likeness..


this is frank and... and... ugh... and...ugh... oh my i think cary? but anyway you get the picture to much testosterone in my home this weekend.

wasted time

WASTED TIME acrylic on canvas by me
don't waste my time woman your a fucking liar!

THANK YOU MANNY :-)

manny rocks

rainbow flag breath

we didn't go to the parade but we did go to the festival. i love pride you see people you haven't seen in awhile and those you would rather forget. i'm beat i need a nap. the worst thing is that auntie flow arrived just in time for the festivities. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!!!

chalking vaginas

my house is invaded by gay men this weekend for pride. i spent three hours chalking out two vaginas at the entrance to the festival area. i know that they'll be trampled but i don't care. while chalking several spectators stopped and watched rafa and i do our thing. when i chalked i kind of go in to this little world of mine. i was proposition for sex by a guy named stephen while i was chalking . he said said something like "he can i talk to you?" I was like "huh? yeah what?" he said "i can pay you!" perplexed i said "pay me for what?" he looked down at the floor and then at me while licking his lips he said "you know..." shocked and mortified i blurted out "no thanks i don't do that or men!" yeah that was a creepy experience but thats not the first time someone thought i was a hooker. crashed at Martha's' house and woke up at five i wanted my own bed. i'll post the pictures of my chalk later i didn't have the camera on me at the time but i martha took some for me. oh and thats rafael's banana.

mis labios

i feel a little dead

audit audit audit

my company auditor came in to my store to audit my work. well i'm not fired and apparently i only had miner violations. woohoo i still have a job. ooooooooooooooo and i got to be a bitch i love doing collection calls to my dead beat customers. my mother is sick with cancer or how bout i was sick i couldn't make my appointment. my favorite comment for the day was "oh yeah what ya gonna do about it?" my answer "well, i send you to collections and you'll owe them $1200-$1500 rather that the $300 you owe me!" that shut him up! gosh what people say when the owe you money.

shoes

i think i need to go shoe shopping. i need a nice smutty pair.

RIP IT RIGHT OUT OF ME!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH IT HURTS! IT HURTS REAL BAD! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP...

4:30am

my pillow is drenched from the tears (i was crying in my sleep) and i have a bruised ego.

to close for comfort

i couldn't sleep last night. i had so much on my mind. like who was that person and why. i should have approached them. but any way i was running the stairs until two thirty in the morning. i was soaked in sweat and i still didn't fall asleep till four thirty or so. i can't believe i missed them by a hair.

new sunglasses

My day was filled with trying to ignore my reality. I needed to escape for the afternoon. I sang in the shower while shveing my legs. I had my hair trimmed. Flirted with the parking lot attendant, the girl in the cigarette shop, the girl at the sunglass and optical warehouse, and shook my big ass all over the caintaner store and target. I dropped a couple of things at target so i could bend over in front of this forty year old dyke. Yeah she got a little look at the tattoo on my toshy from under my short skirt (heehee that was fun). I got a few complements on my tattoos too today( that made me smile). Ooooooooooo...oooooooooooooooo and i scoffed at some guy that tried to car flirt with me and i flipped him off. I had a great afternoon. It might be the new sunglasses.

They fit my mood. They're flirty and bitchy ;-)

feeling a little used

so i'm feeling little used and tossed out on my big behind. so this is what i did while idly waiting for a reply. that never came.

HER SILENCE SPEAKS VOLUMS acrylic on canvas by me

AHH U HIT MY BABY!

YESTERDAY: at work bullshitting with my security guard and manny when i hear SREEEEEEEEEECH BANG HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. IT'S MY BABY MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BABY. HOLLY SHIT MY CAR. all i see is my rearview mirror dice swinging violently from side to side and the lights flashing. then i notice this truck starting to pull out of the parking spot. i run out to the passenger side window and bang on the window "HEY HEY HEY" I'm yelling in to the open sliver of the window. She starts to pull back in to the parking spot. she gets out while i'm inspecting the damage to my car, i grab the license plate thats fallen off her truck and start walking in to my office. I think i'm saying i want your information i want your information as i plow through the parking lot. Toss the license plate onto the counter and grab a piece of paper to start writing. I think i muttered something like "WHAT THE HELL YOU WERE TRYIN TO LEAVE" all i can hear from her was "no i wasn't i hit the curb i hit the curb". I know have her plate # so i head back outside to look at the damaged once again. "OH MY LIGHT THEY'RE CRACKED..." SHE SAID "IT'S PLASTIC IT'S PLASTIC!" "MY HOOD LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HOOD!" again "IT'S PLASTIC IT'S PLASTIC, I HIT THE CURB I HIT THE CURB" me "YOU HIT MY CAR WITH SUCH FORCE THAT YOU KNOCKED OFF YOUR LICENSE PLATE LADY!" AGAIN " I'T'S PLASTIC. IT'S PLASTIC ." I'm upset i look at her truck two scratches. two mother fucking scratches on her bumper and a fallen license plate. she caused $1400 worth of damage to my car and we haven't even looked under the hood yet. CAN WE SAY RADIATOR DAMAGE! Oh and uh 80 year old woman should watch what they're doing behind the wheel.

what a pain in my back

so i'm out to dinner with my friend and we eat our sushi and we're on our way to buffalo exchange, when my lower lumbar starts to really hurt. i think it just needs a good cracking, so i try to crack my back. nothin still in pain. we continue to walk the block and a half to the store. they're closed. oh well to bad. we walk back to the car by the time we got back to the elevator, i want to scream it hurts so bad. i can't stand right. my friend looks at me and say hey do you maybe want a session in my massage chair. well i hate this chair but i've never really gave it a chance, hey but if it works i'll try it. i make a joke about it not feeling like a little asian woman and agree to a session in the chair. well after about 20 min in the chair i get up. a little better but still i hurt. i get home pop some aspirin and hope that is all better in the morning. no such luck it's worse today :-(

my pet goldfish

goldie up on the dashboard of my car. i'm terrified that one day she's just gonna blow out of my window.

goldie on her walk down the hallway.

goldies favorite place to be. the corner of my desk. it's so cute she just lays there all cute n'stuff just quiet as can be.

too much soap

ok here's the thing, i grew up in a house were the dishwasher was either my mom my sister or me. the only time i remember seeing a dishwasher was as a kid when my mom cleaned the rich peoples houses. so when ubu and i moved in to this apartment i didn't touch it for at least a month. he'd catch me doing dishes by hand and laugh he'd something like " you know thats why us white people invented dishwashers to put mexicans like you out of business" we'd laugh and then place the articals that weren't clean in the washer. so now i can use this dishwasher thingy and not freak out.....well i guess not. too much soap. yup too much soap!

SHE'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

So last night i decided to air out pumpkins apartment and drop off her gift. I get to her place and i notice that the light seemed to be on i just thought "o crap shes gonna kick my butt for leavin the lights on!" so i check the car and went in to her complex..........and then i realized that the air conditioner was running i thought "shit what was i thinkin when i left the last time was i inebriated or something!" as i got closer to the door there were keys still inside of it. my immediate response was WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE'S BACK I'M JUMPIN FOR JOY!!!!!! all self contained and quiet cuz it's like 12:30 at night. i knock on the screen door but then i realize that you can't hear that over the ac. so i cracked the screen door open and knocked on the real door. nothin so i knock again knock knock knock. there are so many things running through my brain i'm just so happy cuz any moment shes gonna open the door. and then TADA there she is with twinkey barking and pawing at my legs. she looks almost shocked to see me. i know i have this goofy smile on my face i want to grab her and hug her and kiss her and and and.........HEY YOU LET MY DOG OUT!!!! oh my i did so i scooped up twinkey and walk in to her place. i began to explain "i just came by to air out your place you ruined my surprise i have something for you." at this point i can see this figure poking out of her room then i realize its her father. BRAIN QUICKLY SHIFTS FROM MUSHY DRELLA TO REGULAR PASS FOR STRAIGHT GIRL...... "yeah i a got you a welcome back bottle of madori" some how we've ended up in the kitchen where her father can't see us and we're whispering "he doesn't know" she said. i whispered back "i know" (she's not out at all) so we move back to the door and i left. but it's ok cuz i got a hug and a big smile from her and thats all i need.

home with me

i want her home with me i want her cheek against my nose i want the dog in between us keeping her self warm i want to hear her breath i want her scent on me i want her to look at me and make me feel shy and vulnerable i want her to scream out STOP WIGGLING WIGGLE WORM i want to hold her hand i want to sit on a big rock overlooking the beach holding her hand while watching the sun go down i want to whisper dirty words in her ear i want to fly kites with her i want to spend the day naked in bed with her i want to hear her secrets i want to eskimo kisses i want to see her smile i want to see her think (she so cute when she really thinks i can almost see those wheels turning and the light bulb shines so brightly when she has found a solution) i want to play footsie's i want to spoon her i want to her to spoon me i want her to fall asleep with her hand on my breast i want to hear her heart beat through her chest i want her hugs and the way she caresses me when she does i want a long kiss hello i want her to know how i feel i want watch her eat a lean pocket i want to watch her scold the dog i want to hear her laugh i want to hear her poke fun at me i want to gross her out i want to gaze at her eyes and blush i want her by my side i want you close to me so i can see hear and experience these things again i miss you so much i it loses so much when we text... hurry home so i can jump into your arms and give you those long awaited kisses

MEDICINE

now i know how she must feel when i don't text her back. ick i don't like it! its not a nice feeling when you feel ignored. i can taste the bitter medicine.

the microscope

i feel so darn creative tonight. "the microscope" is what i just did. and this is part one and this is part two all inspired by my pumpkin :-) if you watch it put in fast. otherwise it takes for ever. have fun, be inspired.

faxes

what a calm work week. busy but calm. then i realized the ball licker is on vacation. noooooooooooooooooo faxes for things i've already sent. soooooooooooooooooooooo peaceful...ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

HE WON'T SELL ME CIGARETTES!

ooooooh crap i forgot my wallet at work now i have to drive 30 miles to get it. with no cigarettes cuz i look like i'm 12 apparently.

my arms hurts

thats what i get for being a little bit butch. so ubu woke me up out of this nice cozy sleep. why you ask well...someone slashed a whole lot of tires in the uptown center. he called me for a ride. so i put on some close and drove my 1/2 awake ass to hillcrest. i pull in to the center and i see about five people changing there tires. it was the oddest thing. it seemed like the were all whining then i realized that they were all little femmy boys the few ruff in tuff ones were quietly changing there tires. so i see my ubu, he looked tired and frustrated. he said that he'd been out there about 45min trying to take the nuts off but they were on too tight. i thought oooooooo they must have used that stupid machine. i said can i try. and so i did my first attempt failed so did my second. then azzzzzzah i got one nut off then the second. we had to adjust the tire for the last two to come off but they did an we were happy to be on our way. THEN CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK...the fucking spare is flat. fortunately ubu has an air pump so the end.

tonight...

tonight... trying to make sense of what going on. THE TEXT: what happened why didnt u answer the phone when i called u back whats wrong with i ive been the one contacting u lately whats the deal MY ANSWER: well i can't really remember what i wrote but here's the gist. ok so i'm sorry if you feel like i've been ignoring you. but i'm not sitting around the house all weepy and shit. i'm just going around my normal routine. i do miss your cocky ass and i'll be jumping off the walls when i know your on your way home. i mean what am i supposed to say "how are those people i don't know?" so looking back that seems kind of well...jerky.

research

research, i need to find a group to help me. i can't find any good groups that are my age there either younger or way older than me or straight. ugh! i'm tired. i'll try again in the morning.

WHAT LEAK?

i had just left the house when my phone starts going off. it's a number i don't recognize i have to answer it what if it's my night in shiny panties. NOPE SOOOOOOO WRONG! it's my apt manager. apparently i have sprung a leak and i'm flooding the downstairs apt. oops my bad.... she reasures me it's not my fault but they will have to take out the floor on tuesday to fix the leak. so i get to shower in my ubu's bathroom till the issue is fixed. JUST GREAT. i love my gay man but i don't want to use his shower...