dia del los muertos

i don't really feel like a have a connection to my heritage... i grew up in a house where we kids took care of ourselves. eating together as a family only happened once a year at thanksgiving, even then mom or dad was missing due to work. we only visited the extended family once a year at christmas. i stopped going to those at fourteen i think... those family gatherings where really uncomfortable for me due to the sexual abuse i suffered from my uncle. i've never told my parents about the sexual abuse. i remember my mother saying "you don't need friends." so i grew up in an extremely antisocial environment. i wasn't allowed to go to the slumber parties or much of anything. growing up on a street that could double as a highway (2 east bound lanes 2 west bound lanes and everyone going between 40mph and 60mph) didn't really help with "playing in the streets" that my friends speak of. i lacked the social skills that most kids picked up on... my mother didn't and doesn't speak about her life. i know this much about her:
age=56 i think, she's from el salvador, san salvador
she came to the U.S. illegally stuffed in a semi promptly married my father and had me.
i know i have one aunt and ????? uncles i may have two aunts?????
grandmother= alive name=????? grandfather=dead name=??????

my father was absent...by the time her realized he had children we where teenagers and no-longer in need of a father.
age? he's from mexico, i think guadalajara
came to the U.S. legally
aunts i have no clue uncles i don't know but i've been told he's one of 12 or 13
grandmother=alive name=maggie grandfather=dead name pablo


the point of all this is i really don't care. my family with the exception of my brothers are just people who are related to me but have never been in my life. i have nor feel any connection or bond to them. which is really sad because i have a sister who apparently is pregnant and i have no desire to see her or her child. family=strangers