blow job picture????

apparently it looks like i gave a blowjob in this picture... i don't see it but ok.

more post office images for you

i still love the post office



i think this one's my favorite.

sheep of blue

i love animal crackers. from one of my previous sets

quit me? never

oh i can't do it i look like shit if i don't smoke. see for your self...
before the morning ciggy
after the morning ciggy

at the post office

the night before the smashing
this morning
i've been somking way toooooooooooo much
i like the post office it's neat

she dosen't have a name yet

my last painting she dosen't have a name yet
acrylic on canvas by me

the aftermath

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
well fuck here's my boob.......and her car. the only image i have of her is driving away...LOL!

she struck in the night!

yes she smashed my window
passangers side floor if you look close you can see the screwdriver next to the tire

look at all that glass
the mystery towel next to my car

WHY O WHY DIDN'T I CHECK WHEN I HEARED THE ALARM GOING OFF....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh well i've learned my lesson. never again.... i understand but come on your a fucking adult!!!!

after i made the call to the police. they cant do anything because i didnt catch her in the act..... arrrrgh! lesson learned...

i have pictures i swear

i have pictures i swear. i've just been busy and lazy. im going to do another animal cracker session. hopefully tonight. i just need a willing assistant. if not i'll be taking them of myself. i'm not sure how thats going to work. OI!
side note: its strange waking up next to someone and them not"sneaking" out in the middle of the night. just odd... maybe i just expect crap like that

i can't make up my mind

i couldn't decide on which qoute was fitting my mood. so here.

“Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain”

“Love is like a faucet, it turns off and on.”

awww lady day your so good to me. to bad your dead.

fucking boobs are being rejected

son of a bitch. i don't get a day off again because the floating assisant got her boob job and her body is rejecting the implants. MOTHER FUCKER!!!!ARG! WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU NEED FAKE BOOBS ANYWAYS. THE FUCKING GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE ANY WAY! well i hope she gets out of the hospital soon... poor thing.

my wheels are turning...

i wonder if competitive eaters can write off there meals on there taxes?

i have a craving for new sunglasses.

my agenda for the day:

1. go to work and not wear shoes the whole day
2. eat a cookie
3. browse my space for a while
4. buy a new pair of sunglasses that will make people melt
5. buy a new pair of slutty shoes
6. pretend to be deaf for an hour
7. buy a t rex album
8. get some tea
9. go to the eagle and flog someone (hummmm NA! i'm feeling a bit submissive today)
10. drink way to much
11. go home and finish my new painting
12. go to dennys at 4am and order a scoop of vanilla ice cream with tabasco sauce.

OOOOOOOOOOO DRELLA!

i wish i could work an etch a sketch like this...

before the buttcrack of dawn...

what was said between 4:10am and 4:35am today.
me "hey wake up shawna just called"
ray "aha arg! she'll call back."
me "she might be on her way to pick you up."
ray "ahhh awwww arg! here you call her back!" she fumbles for the phone and hands it off to me
me "GOE MORNIN MISS.SHAAAAAWNA."
Shawna "hey, uh i think my car was stolen!"
me "UH?"
shawna "well it's not where i left it yesterday."
me "uuuuuuuuuh! do you need a ride to work? "
Shawna "what do i do? i've never had a car stolen before..."
me "call the poe poes."
ray face smashed in to the pillow "wha happened to the car?"
shawna "looks like we aren't goin to work today."
me "i can take you guys. i'm already up"
Shawna "i gotta go tell my woman. i'll call you back"

i hung up the phone tossed it onto my ottoman and hugged ray as hard as i could and started to yell at her "WAKE UP...IT'S TIME TO GET UP...WAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUP!"
all she did was groan in disapproval and giggle then politely asked me to stop. i did and i went back to hugging her. then this shoots out of my mouth
"why is shawna's ring a horse?"
ray's reaction a roaring laugh accompanied with "because she's a stallion."

i couldn't be a writer

i couldn't be a writer i don't have the attention span for it. so im on the phone. someone called & they don't know im here. is funny. he's talking about his dui charge and his other convictions. he's talkin about going to Disneyland and how they should change the name to dizzyland. he's talkin about bin ladin while his girlfriend makes cat noises. about how he juuuuuuuuust can't go back to work. more cat noises in the background. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww silence.

pumpkin and the swings

last night i got a text saying "i need to talk to you now" the second text said "meet me at the park in 10". i was busy working on a painting when i got them. i thought about it for about 2 seconds. i text her back with a "k". i just really needed to get something off my chest. the night of roxie's and shawana's party we were texting back and forth till i sent one that simply said "i'm done!" later that night her drunk ass wants to know why and what happened... i didn't respond i didn't care to. so this bullshit texting was getting on my nerves...
i met her at my park. were we met. kind of funny. It's really comfortable there for both of us. i sent her a text saying i would be at the swings. she responded with a "ok i'm almost there." she arrives. making her presence know by yelling out my name while walking through the squishy grass. i responded with a "YES!" her reply "JUST MAKIN SURE IT"S YOU!" the rest of it is kind of blurry but this is what i remember:

1. she let all the rest of her "girlfriends" go
2. she really attracted to me because no one has ever treated her the way i do (i'm an ass),
3. i'm cold hearted distant and an ass
4. her clock is ticking
5. she feels old
6. she lies about her age
7. she's moving back to Georgia where she has one last girlfriend a 20 yearold by the name of ann
8. when she was a little girl she wanted to marry the mob
9. twinkey's 16 pounds and she comes from champion stock
10. she's never picked up a woman
11. she has a knack at picking luns to mess around with
12. she also has a knack with bisexual broads too
13. she's a shitbag

i was freezing on the swing. she took notice and said goodnight. i returned the goodnight. i started to walk away. i turned back around she sat back down on the swing. i yelled at her to start walking back in her car and drive off. she said no. she wasn't tired and didn't want to explain her self to her "roommate". i told her that at least she should get into her car and do that. she refused satiating that she liked the cold and she didn't care. i asked her to get in my car so i could drop her off at her car and have some peace of mind. she pouted and said "NO!" so i walked towards her and pulled her off the swing drag her into my car and drove her to hers. she had this sour face on but as long as i knew she got to her car ok i didn't care what she did after that.

lots of yelling in the car...from both of us. i told her that i couldn't trust her and that this once in a blue moon shit wasn't workin for me. she again told me that i was a poor communicator. i agreed. i got feed up with her mouth. so i gave her her x-mas gift that had been sitting in the car for four weeks. she shut up for 30 seconds. then more yelling. the next thing i know i'm urging her to get the hell out of my car. she called me an ass and also mumbled that this would be the last time i'd ever see her again. i said " fine if i never see you again i should just delete your number from my phone." she slammed the passenger door and i drove home.

almost home driving down the hill and she fucking texts me. it said "Dnt erase my number k if u and her 2work out i want anther chance i wantd 2tell u bt u pissed me off the way u treatd me its hard 2 believe u like me" i couldn't respond i was driving. the the fucking phone rings. all i get is "YOUR NOT ANSWERING." i told her i was driving and that i couldn't text and drive due to the lack of practice. i stopped off at 7-11 for a pack of ciggies while she was still squackin in my ear. yeah we were still yelling at eachotrher. it's interesting because we'll hit this i'm being honest and i want to be your friend moment then something stupid comes out of my mouth and she starts yelling.

1:30AM I JUST WANT TO BE HER FRIEND AND GO TO BED!!!

who's mike delfino?

i'm just gonna shoot smoke up my ass!

my weekend

slab of meat in front of coconuts house

FRIDAY:????????????? i can't remember... the only thing i really remember was ray and i pulling off of eachother when ubu opened the door. we both laughed. i know we both had this "my parents are home reaction!"
SATURDAY: went to work for a few hours. scared the crap out of this old bat of a cowgirl. met manny and ray for lunch at her place of buisness. mmmmmmmmm french onion soup. went for a glass of water wear my red sheet ala toga. when ubu came home highly embarassing. well atleast i wasn't naked this time.

SUNDAY: droped ray off at work. went for a walk in the canyon. no one was out there. just me and my coffee. it was nice till it started to rain on me.
hung out with baby hercules and coconuts. we went to the san ysidro swampmeet where i bought a $3 kick ass watch and a crappy barking dog. we had lunch at joes crab shack and then chill at her house.
baby hercules molested me. he shoved his hands in my bra and squeezed it twice. very uncomfortable and halarious at the same time.

i want these underoos
coconuts at lunch
palying with my balls
i bought my mom $300 earing for her birthday and a ice cream cake. i took them over to her house. she told me i stunk and that it looked like was going bald. mom's are great at crushing you.

i picked up ray and we went to the eagle for drinks and pool. yeah that second drink was strong. i was tipsy, and ray took notice. i remember her molestion my boobs out in front of the bar.
TONIGHT: long day at work wanted to pass out when i got in. then pumpkin comes a callin. i don't want to deal with her any more she's draining. went to a little get together at miss shawan's and roxi's. good stuff i gave them the crappy dog i bought.


sooooooo good to be home.

DID I JUST SQUIRT?

i'm pretty sure she made me squrit last night. i love chompin' on clit. yum!

DRELLA'S BACK AT WORK

SO MISS. DRELLA JONES IS BACK AT HER PRE-LEGAL SHIT AT WORK. I THOUGHT SHE QUIT WITH THE LAST JOB BUT I GUESS SHE CAME ALONG. AWWWWWWW THERE'S NOTHING LIKE HAVING SOMEONE CALL YOU UP AND TELL THEY'RE GOING TO SUE YOUR ASS IN THE MORNING. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I TALKED TO MANNY TODAY. EVERYONE AT CHECK N'BLOW THINKS I WENT CRAZY!!!!!! LOL! AWWW FUCK THEM.

mystery shot and girls girls girls...

i took ray out last night. i picked her. she had a mystery shot at the eagle and i had my usual screwdriver. we've been thumb wrestling and last night wasn't any different. after that it was off to see naked ladies. i drove our asses to the body shop. i gave her the old pass i had in my car. she looked surprised. Apparently she's the one urging her s.o. to hit the strip club. i haven't been there in like fucking forever. we were hit on by like every dancer in the place and the hottie black chick asked us if we'd like a lap dance from her while proceeding to tell us that we were cute. i wanted to giggle so i just rubbed rays leg and smiled back. that's when she started the sexy winky wonky eye. then i wanted to say "OOOOOOOO GIRL WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYE?"

Kitten lickin good!

so apparently little white kittens with fucked up eyes taste like chicken. i watch ray nibble on the cats ears and i thought. ewww that's fucking gross. There owner on the other hand likes to share her sushi with the cat. i watched her rip little peices of sushi off and hand feed them to the cat. not so bad until she cat licked her fingers clean and then she licked them off as well. to top it all off she went for sushi with the same fucking hand. for fucks sake that's just not right! Oh and my car was playing soccer with a wayward ball in the street last night. to bad i kept driving around and around and around all night. Indecisive people should not hang out together. LOL! life is good and pumpkin thinks she's the shit...

GETTING OUT by drella jones

this one is for my manny. because we all get out of our chains one day or another. the fall isn't so bad. ;-)

another night at the eagle

so i had these vague plans with my pumpkin last night. she passed out... i was disappointed. somedays i don't know why i like her so much, or why i tolerate her ass. i call her my bitch, my ass, but she's my pumpkin. it's hard trying to find the time to spend an hour with her let alone a day. she works nights and i work days in turn we have scheduling issues. in turn i don't get it as much as i like to...LOL! BUT THATS NOT THE STORY...................HERE WE GO.................................
so i'm working on one of paintings hanging out with a friend and enjoying my cocktail. when i get a call. it's ray. she wants to hang out. i agree and after writing the address to where she was at on my leg and i was off. for some reason when i hang out with her i seem to get lost or get the wrong directions. in all honesty it's fucking frustrating i hate getting lost. so i'm on the wrong side of iowa i need the south side of iowa. i arrive with the help of miss.lynnette. so i meet some of rays friends and they blah blah blah about some chick named cloey or Zoë. who's loves to run through the ghetto in a catholic school girls outfit and a bag of pancake mix. she also has an obsession with washing her hands but her house is one huge science experiment. after they finish with there blah blah blah ray decides that we need to all go to the eagle. the agree and were off. my dumb-ass takes the long way to the eagle. i'm just directionally impaired this week. oh well it's just been that kind of week! so we waltz into the bar and nothing but men. not so usual for the eagle but i have 3 deer caught in headlights lesbians strolling in behind me. i found there reactions amusing. after about 10min the ladies say there farewells and it was just ray and i. i was busy noticing the guy running around in a trench coat and a jockstrap head into the restroom. then like a clown car four men run out of the restroom i had to laugh it's a one person potty it's like 3 foot by 3 foot. one of the men said "i really had to take a piss i don't know what he was doin!" we finished our drinks and were about to head out for a ciggy when this creepy i'm an internet geek lookin guy approaches us. i can't really hear but i did hear this "so what brings you out here?" and "yeah if your interested in flogging or flogging her or her flogging you come back tomorrow.it's flogging night" and i also heard this "yeah he stole $500 worth of bondage gear from me. i would give anything to get back at him" and this too "he tied me up and shoved a huge dildo up my ass!" that's when i really needed a ciggy LOL! i cut him off in mid sentence and said "ALL THIS DILDO IN ASS TALK MAKES ME WANT A CIGARETTE." i turned to ray and said 'LETS GO HAVE A CIGARETTE." she said something like 'YEAH ALL THIS ASS TALK" . ah what a night. we had our ciggies and i took her home.

"I WOULDN'T HAVE EVER GUESSED"

So i just came out at work. i had a hard time with replaceing my she's with he's. it's hard faking being straight at work. besides i'm not ashamed of who i am or who i do. especially when my phone has an orgasam everytime my favorite person calls....lol! marias' reaction "I WOULDN'T HAVE EVER GUESSED! are you sure?"

OH NOOOOO!

oh crap that was emberassing! my phone was not on silent and it had a very loud orgasam. note to self; put phone on vibrate while at work. blush!

FUCKING FANTASTIC!

as some of you might know i have a fascination with little people. i fucking love them! i guess it's the whole napoleon complex. well last night i was on my way to a new years gathering and i stopped off at the drug store to pick up a bottle of wine. i parked my car and mulled through my bag to fetch my wallet. when these bright ass head lights blind me this black ford f-150 parks in the handicap spot across from me. the drivers door opens and these little feet appear on the floor. no way i thought. then the door was slammed shut by this little hand. It's a girl a little blond woman in her twenties wear dark blue dickie shorts as pants and a studded belt. holy fuck i couldn't believe my eyes. how fabulous is that. a huge truck and a woman no larger than 3 1/2 feet tall driving it....FUCKING AWSOME!