i don't like feeling trapped.

GET YOUR FREE CRAP HERE!

BUSINESS : on the 7th and 8th my ass will be working. Doing what you ask? Well I'll be throwing around our new store promos and hopefully hitting cars in the parking lot... Oh yea corporate frisbees ROCK!

SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOOOOOOOOES!

Last night before the grunion run honey bucket and I went to target... We strolled through shoe aisle. Oh how I love shoes. o.k. I love smutty shoes. If I'm in a shoe store and I look at a pair of shoe and think "hmm I can wear these in bed." guess what they're going home with me. I bought this pair of shoes last night. Surprisingly target has a nice selection of potential sex shoes... This isn't my first of last pair of shoes from them. They're comfy too. They make my toes look funny but I can wear them to work if need be.
I was horrified see I fit into a size 11 shoe. I guess target's good for the cross dressers too.

AHHH EWWW YOU TOUCHED IT!

Last night honey bucket and I went to see the grunion run...

The only picture i took of the grunion.

There wasn't much of a fish orgy last night more like an invite only sex party... we were there about 15 min before we saw the first fish come up. All of a sudden you'd see these things flash and splash in the residing wave. Then they'd flop around and start digging in or curling. Just as soon as they appeared the next wave you'd come in and wash the little buggers’ way. The second batch we saw we got brave and approached the fish. We didn’t take a flash light with us so it was hard to see them. Honey bucket hovered over one particular grunion she stuck out her hand and poked the fish. She immediately screamed in disgust and we both ran away from the scene of her crime... We were about 8ft away from the fish and honey bucket turned to me and said “Do you think I hurt him?” I assured her that that the fish would be fine. I was determined to take a picture of my feet amongst the partying grunion. So we waited and waited and hunted for a good swarm of fish to wash up... honey bucket spotted a good batch of fish she started yelling “Hurry hurry get your picture way aren't you in the water...Way aren't in there?” I ran over to a set of about 15 or so fish, when I got about a foot from them I got scared of the fish. Not really scared, more like repulsed by them. I mean they're really neat `n stuff, but I didn't want them flopping on my feet.

STUPID SEA TAKING MY CHANKLA!

We walked most of the La Jolla shore in hopes of coming across a better spot. Well we didn’t but we did come across a few Filipino fishermen and a bunch of creepy jumping crablike bugs. Soon after we passed the fishermen we headed back down the beach towards the car. We reached the original spot where we first saw grunion. We paused and I turned to the sea and started yelling “DAMN YOU GRUNION! COME OUT OF THE SEA... I WANT TO SEE A FISH ORGY!!!!DAMN IT!! COME OUT OF THE SEA!” Honey bucket laughed at me... Then I pissed off the sea. I started yelling obscenities at the sea and...Well it took my sandal. I started yelling “MY CHANKLA MY CHANKLA” in pursuit of my lost sandal I ran deeper into the water. But the sea had claimed my sandal and I turned back to my honey bucket and started walking towards her. She said something about the sandal coming back with the next wave and I turned back towards the water. The sea was being nice to me and spit it back at me.

THANK MR.SEA...

Lesson learned: DON’T YELL AT THE SEA...

i killed my dinner with karate. kick 'em in the face taste the body

i feel like laying in bed with a cigarette in hand in the midst crying my eyes out while trying to draw... i think it's all the time i spend by myself... it's just me at work my boss pops in once or twice a month in my office. the rest of her time is spent at the other offices which get more attention because they are close to her. with ubu on his business trip it's just me at home. there is no way i could live alone. i would go crazy. having my honey bucket around all weekend spoiled me... and now i'm at a loss of attention. i want to be 22 living on felton st with coconuts fitzgerald. i want to be able to stumble home from the zombie lounge with ciggy half falling out of the corner of my mouth, while the cars honk because they think i'm a hooker.
tonight's theme song SPROUT AND THE BEAN from JOANNA NEWSOM. i'm off to fill my lungs with smoke and drown myself in an alcohol fueled painting...

she reminds me of patricia arquett

RANSOM TEXT

I just received a ransom text. it said

For starters i want 253 kisses!...

The kidnapper wants 253 kisses! This kidnapper better be cute...

DARN YOU MEXICAN KIDNAPPER!

I JUST GOT THIS FROM THE KIDNAPPER

muahhh ahh ahhh

we'll talk about it friday evening....
MAYBE

MEXICAN KIDNAPPERS HAVE TAKEN GOLDIE

i have an international kidnapping on my hands.these are some of the images the kidnapper sent me of goldie. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY POOR FISH. I SHOULD HAVE WALKED YOU MORE I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU OUT FOR ONE MORE CAR RIDE. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDIE!

sex on the beach

IT'S PEAK SEASON FOR GRUNION SPAWNING. FOR THE NEXT THREE NIGHTS THE GRUNION WILL BE RUNNING ON OUR BEACHES. THIS IS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WANTING TO CROSS OFF MY "MUST DO BEFORE I DIE" LIST. yes, i really do have one of those and i've crossed a couple of things off of it. i'm hoping to cross off the del mar fair and the grunion run off this week. i found a couple of really good sites... I found schedules and the best spots at these sites San Diego Grunion Guide and California Department of Fish and Game, Marine Region .

i wanna see a grunion orgy DAMN IT!!!!!!!

grass and falling pants

i've had a pair of kites in the house for over a year. i never opened them, until today. sara and i put them together and went down to the little park next to the apartments... next time we go kite flying i'll wear actual shoes rather than flip flops, because thats exactly what i did. trying to run through unkept grass in flip flops and pants that are to big for you is a stupid idea. i ran maybe 50ft before my pants started to fall i tripped on some grass and met the floor with my face. i couldn't help but laugh because my pants were half way off... i destroyed the poor kite. sara managed to get her kite going but not for long there wasn't much wind to keep it flying.

Don't get me wrong...

98% of the time I like to spend company money. Today I dislike corporate freebees. I get to go through endless catalogues and websites to bargain shop! The websites are the worst. You would think when you type in highlighter with pen you'd get a couple of items. Not this site i get every pen pencil and highlighter they've got...

AWWW...

SHANNON!

i want to touch it...

i skiped out of work a few hours early this afternoon. coconuts, the kid and i went to balboa park.
on tuesdays they have a rotating free museums schedule.
the kid got bored quickly with the merry go round. coconuts always has the biggest smile on
i saw this story on PBS when i was younger about how the first merry go round creatures terrified children. the animals were incredibly life like and they destroyed most of them to make way for less threatening animals.
that's me. see me shaking my hands. i was having a happy moment. we went through a second time just so i could get a picture in front of some real life warhols. security was tight we managed to take two shots the other one is better but i love this one. we saw Marilyn, Mao, sparkle shoes, Mohammed ali, a few self portraits, soup cans, and a bunch of other stuff.
yup that's me andy warhols dream.
bet you can't find me...
the friendship garden is so neat. i love watching the koi swim by. it reminds me of ciggy breaks at the zoo.
after the friendship garden we on our way back to the car. i spotted this burrito out of the corner of my eye... yea burrito all alone with no burrito eater in sight.
then i saw this peeing near my car. uh...excuse me there's a restroom around the corner.

i popped your cherry

i heart this pool tablelast night was spent at the eagle. the emptiest bar in town. it was sadie's first time to the bar and was drunk by the end of her second drink. we shot pool, smoked ciggys and fed quarters into the jukebox. glad to have popped your cherry sadie...

MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO SCREAM I WANT TO CRY I WANT TO...HIDE!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT IT FIXED. is $21 so much to ask for. i think not! i'm terrified... i shake when i talk about the hair cut. i can feel my blood presure rise. it feels like the beginings of a panic attack. i get angry... and now my eyes are swelling up with tears... i just want it fixed.

PLEASE STOP!

i went for a hair cut yesterday. the bitched fucked up my hair. i took the picture below to show her what i wanted...
this is what i ended up with. i told her not to frame my face, she did. as soon as she chopped off my bangs. i yelled out OH MY GAWD PLEASE STOP! they comped my hair cut...hmmmm wonder why????????? LOOK AT IT IT A HELL OF A LOT SHORTER THEN WHAT I WANTED IT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME FUCKING HAIR CUT!!!!!!!!
i cried for 15 minutes when i got home. i want it fixed so bad but i don't think anyone can fix it at this point....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BITCH GAVE ME BANGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sparkle sparkle!

after a long day of porn store hoping (work stuff) i went home yesterday wanting to drown my self in the comfort of the pool. awww yea! ubu was watching fiddler on the roof and i announced my plan and asked him if he wanted to join me. he agreed. after scarfing down my diner we were off for the pool. ubu jump right in. i on the other hand slowly walked in to the pool. i was about crotch in when ubu said something like "brrrrrr it's cold in here. i'm going in the jaccuzi!" fliping hot tube was HOT!!!!!i could only take so much i was sweating in there. so i jumped in the pool. so content in the water floating around daydreaming.

robin and i combined forces last night and ened up at the beauty bar. it was a damned apple convention...not really but ivan, chrissy, and two other ladies who's names escape me at the moment where there. for whatever reason i don't recall it being so dang sparkly in there. the kicker was the posterboard with PUSSY GALORE in silver glitter. FUCKING FANTASTIC! last night was good i felt dehydrated so i didn't drink much but i did shake my toosy. woo hoo good times.

she left me a gift

i was washing my hands and i looked in the mirror guess what i saw? A HUGE ASS HICKEY! i think someone was marking her territory before she left for connecticut... PUNK ASS!

bloody floss

last night i became obsessed with flossing my teeth... i flossed for about an hour... all i have to say is ewww! there was some funky stuff on the floss from my back teeth... it was probably the dream i had the night before. it was one of the ones where my teeth fall out...

rock star to sock star

i'm a little drunk right now, i'm day dreaming about honey bucket and how i want to fall asleep between her inviting sweet smelling breasts...
the night began with watching miss.alexx and media lab... damn that girl rocks...i wish her all the best i see great things in her future.
awww yea FASHION WHORE.... actually it sucked my fat sweaty left nut tonight. it was DEAD! so i took diedie over to the eagle. it's spanking night. guess what they were all done by the time we got there. my voyeur ass got no eye candy...we did meet a gent from panama. his name was DEMITRIO...shit that foo made me laugh...
i came home and started jumping on my bed, then i wanted to take dirty pictures but soon got bored of the idea...
this is as far as i got. pictures of my stockings and tie... oh wow the room is spinning...
GAWD I LOVE THIS TIE! oh well back to my coke n' vodka... i feel very grateful to know such a creative bunch of women...they nurture my quacky obscene path of...lunacy! ooooo ooo oooo ubu just got home from his bachelor party.. love this boy... who the hell is brandon??????? wow how'd we get to talking about skinny puppy....dang nilla vodka rocks..mmmmmm boy were drunk. i love ubu smooboooooooooo.......fuck yea shots. ooo ooo los panchos!

holding my breath before plunging in

some days i look at myself
i have no clue who it is i'm looking at...
am i me am i her or the one of the other personalities...
with only my refections to go in with...
i smile as days go by...
i've been hearing roosters crowing...
i'll turn down the music or pause to make sure i really am hearing roosters...
when i do i hear nothing...
i haven't been painting...
nothing
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BAM!
inspiration, muse, awakening, sparks, exaltation, intoxication...
Saraswati, Brigid, Cebhfhionn, Apollo, Rhiannon have kissed my forehead...

this is what happens when you give me a camera...

you can officially call me a pornographer...i call it elbow porn. ENJOY!

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

i passed i passed...

i just looked at my emails...i received one from the notary people. I PASSED I PASSED!!!! well, i think i passed. it said test: approved....I'M APPROVED I'M APPROVED! all i need now is to take my life scan (finger prints), take my notary oath, get my notary supplies, and get bonded. that'll take another couple of weeks...

my office smells like bagles. i have a headach and i need to cut my nails...

ooof! i'm tired

i spent most of my day with these guys. floating in the pool and laughing... it's funny how these days simple pleasures are my most joyous pass times...oh and my ubu was there too.

i smile

somedays i remember how much i loved her once...

i made her meet my mother...

i had her meet me at my mother's house. she didn't want to but she came...LOL! we went to coronado for lunch. she pointed out the naked child. awww to be a little kid with no worries about your nakedness
i kind of wanted to yell "FREE WILLIE FREE WILLIE" but i held my tongue
look look even at posh places people leave toilet paper on the floor...
after lunch we went on a little stroll to walk off our meal...
look some poor bustard lost some change in the grass. you guessed it i snatched that quarter and left the pennies...hello laundry
it's so sad... people have to be told to pick up their own dog shit... after the park we went over to cost plus and bought coconuts fitzgerald a little budda for her garden. i couldn't wait to give her her statue so, i decided to drop it off. those two got along so well. they spoke about gos n'shit for like an hour. i was in la la land singing tea for two in my head...
hee hee soda bubbles
mmmm raspberry italian soda....
and then heaven sent...
this was her choice the aztec brownie...my ubu can kick this aztecs tooshy...

ok now this was yummy. i loved taking my fork to it and beating it...



so some guy in a blue t-shirt kept watching us while we ate. he would trun the corner where we couldn't see him. i'd look up and there he was again... well at least i can laugh.