Bankers

I just spent the last hour and a half driving round trying to collect on bounced checks... I collected NOTHING! I wasted gas and my time. JUST GIMMIE THE MONEY YOU BANKER FOOLS!

i love condoms!

i like amazon.com they sell sex toys and porn. i accidentally stumbled across it some time this month. friday i was dreadfully bored at work so i went shopping... yes, you guessed it i bought dirty things on amazon... i love condoms so when i typed in butt plug and found this cheap little package i clicked add immediately.

Condom Lover's Wild Weekend Naughty Novelties Variety Pack 12-Pack for $3.99

when i check the mail box this evening i was a happy little lesbian. i tore the package open as soon as i stepped in the elevator hoping to see a butt plug... no such luck. i did get a purple vibrator... i've decided it'll will go nicely in my glove box as an emergency kit.
 

i'm not sure why i love condoms so much. i guess it's because it's a toy for me. 

where's my butt plug? and where are the other 6 condoms? awww who cares i'm content!

Clockwise:

1 purple vibrator, 1 red pocket rocket jr. (bought separately), 1 30 minute membership to hotmovies.com, black studded pleasure ring, a blow job mint, a packet of lube, a freshening cloth, 1 lubricated torjan, 2 rough rider, 2 NYC condoms, 2 chocolate flavored condoms,   

succumbed

i ended up buying those flip flops.. i couldn't help it it was just to good to pass up. i ended buying 11 pairs of shoes in total. what can i say... i'm just a shoe whore. 
i can't help myself

belated birthday and sex on the dentists chair

last night was the postponed planned get together for Lindsay at urban mo's... ending with a very inebriated me exiting the brass rail walking the streets of gay town picking Coconuts Fitzgerald for fun of it. in the early hours of this morning i realized some one for got to cut me off...

lessons learned; although free drinks are fabulous it's not good to mix your drinks. my drink combo was jack n' coke, mystery drink, cape code, rum n' coke, blueberry vodka drink and last but not least a jack n' coke... which lead to a sour puss moi in the dentist chair at 9 am... i fell asleep in the chair and with a tap on my shoulder  woke up from a very lovely dirty dream involving "FANKINPUSSY" by the dental assistant.  he asked if i was ok, i let him know i was exhausted he said "ok" he reclined the chair so i could pass out again. good service is a nice thing. 

off topic: i don't like my dentist's office. it's an open office no closed rooms... which means i can't go through the cupboards and drawers...

addiction

I really want to buy shoes right now... i found 5 pairs of flip flops for $13... my personalities are arguing over shoes...


ms. jones "WE LOVE SHOES AND WE ESPECIALLY LOVE CHEAP SHOES! BUY THEM NOW!"
janelle "hey, we just spent $1000 from the japan funds for shit we needed. i think we can spare $13 on shoes..."
kitten "meow meow meow mew mew meoooooow."
ms. jones "SHUT UP KITTEN! no one cares about the future..."
janelle "actually i care about our future. kitten has a point lets wait."
ms.jones "URRRGH! Pansies!"

busy bee

I've been busy this past week. work's insane! thursday; MOPA thursdays... i love balboa park. Thursday night mopa started a new night called pop thursdays. once a month they will be showing a pop classic film. they showed dirty harry they had a beer stand a vodka stand and a button making area... booze, film, button making and ansil adams... what a great way to enjoy the arts.

friday: my homos rolled down for the weekend. ubu and charlie had boy talk and jole and i where left to our own devices. it ended up being "girl talk". finished with drinks at Pecs and meeting "la cocaracha". as soon as the lights where turned on in the smoking patio the guy joel and i where having a conversation ran away. granted the dark did favor him but running away just made seem like a cockroach.

saturday: the dentist 8:30am - 12:30pm... i have 8 cavities they drilled and filled 6. i guess that's what happens when you wait 9 years to see one. night time zoo... ummm i worked there so not super exciting but i was disappointed to see that my water vipers where moved off exhibit... sky buckets, fun and bores chasing wild rats in the dark, neat.

sunday: breakfast burrito obsession filled for the week.

my moms' gambling intervention. 

me "Ma' the boys are telling you where out all night at the casino again. Mom  you need to go to church." 

mom "Tose ol laydies arre borink"

 

me "Mom i'm worried about you"

mom "Da casinio gimmie bouchers"

 

me "Vouchers?"

mom " Si, Bouchars por food. An tay gimmie creidt por taosand dolars choo"

me "Don't make me come down here to take your car keys from you every night."

mom "Aaaaaa Jose have fren who makes keys por sheep. We get in kar no prolem. I B.I.P they pick ed me up at the house."

me "v.i.p? COMO QUE V.I.P.?"  

mom " Si, I B.I.P! I jus tell host and day pick ed us up"

me "MOM GO TO CHURCH!"

wood ticks and blood shot eyes

I'm feeling a bit of a crush brewing... frankly I think I blew my chance last year... maybe it's just residual.

calexico, yuma, el cento, and back home again

i left mr. bunny at home. i'm glad i did. it was 111 degrees on sunday in el centro. 
i wanted shoes and porn. so manny and julez took me to calexico. i found this hot shoe in a stinky basement... they didn't have my size. 
what a beautiful heel...
i'm a demanding guest. i made them drive me to yuma. this was only the 3rd time i've ever set foot in a casino. they bore me but i was in need of adventure. 
i'm unaccustomed to the sight of stars in the nights sky let alone being the only car on a highway... so on the way back from yuma car lights bounced off the mirrors as julez and i made conversation and laughed our heads off about nothing and everything. 
out side the paradise casino

why i jumped in my car. mr.manny is leaving for school. off to san francisco he goes.

sorry i can't hear you...

Impromptu trip to El Centro. Now I'm deaf... I flew down the mountain doing 90 mph. Window down flicking ciggy ash out the window.

misplaced

I've misplaced my latest and greatest project... I've torn apart my car and ravaged my room... no sign of several plain white sheets held by one paper clip and a binder clip... FRUSTRATION!

shiny new inhaler

I was spitting blood when i woke up this morning. Although i saw blood in my Flem in the last week it didn't bother me much. When i saw pure blood spit this morning it scared the shit out of me. I immediately called my doctor office and was on my way to see him. we came to this conclusion: During one of my coughing fits i must have torn my esophagus... prescription; inhaler. Because i can't breath????????????????????

night time sleep aid...

MY ASS! i took a night time sleep aid 2 hours ago... between hacking up a lung and the tossing... i want to hurt people who abused pseudoephedrine. 

pass the mustache!

I got a text late friday night. It was Jackie asking me what i was up to. i planed to be in bed by midnight but that didn't happen... i was home at 5am trashed and tried. oh and i had to be at work by 9:30. Highlight BUCK NAKED NAD SCRATCHING!

 left with a bag full of expired condoms... i have no idea why i love condoms...i just do! 

hot n' sweaty

i spent most of yesterday after work sleeping. the whole of today has been spent in bed. ubu came down with something wedsnday and yesterday i was hit by the sick train. i'm hot, sweaty and misrable. 

Karma

when i drink... i get a little loose... i've peed on one to many cars. yesterday a transient returned the favor on my car. I GOT IT KARMA! no more peeing on cars.