craigslist

spring is starting to blossom outside my window. while it seems like perpetual winter inside of me. i don't have much but what i have i must let go.

My shoe chair went first today. (9:36 a.m.) Nancy; asian lesbian with one of those really bad mohawk mullets haircuts. dressed like a dyke but couldn't figure out how to put the shoe in her SUV. i had to be the surprise dyke that i am and gently place my shoe in her back seat. before she left she said that if i miss my shoe she would photograph it and send me the pictures. i think she caught a glimpse of me petting my chair before i shut the door. i'm happy she's going to another queer that seemed really excited when she saw her come out the door. 

travel easel, more then 80 brushes, a pallet, and 35+ acrylic paints. (11:15 a.m.) Joe; a towering caucasoid in a pressed light blue shirt and dark trousers. new to painting. i gave him a quick lesson on how to set up and break down the easel. before he left he asked me what i painted i said "vaginas" he giggled and said "no, really?"

tomorrow "100 cans" by warhol. Rose: a grandmother spending time with her granddaughter before she leaves tonight. 
Buddhas today (2:52 p.m.) Piri: an old new york queen, decked out in 6 gold chains and two gold rings on each finger. almost blinding me, fucking fabulous. he almost cried when he saw how big the head was. upon leaving he said "thank you for this blessing. you made my day. i appreciate it." he wished me good luck and left with his granny cart full of Buddhas and a huge smile. 

"you didn't look hard enough for a job"

this is what happens when you walk around looking for a job in the city. 

Eva and Edwina

Eva: Paranoid, skittish, barker, with a peepee problem and a leaky eye. I call her Evona wevona. She almost has shake hands down. 

Edwina: Gender dysphoric, lick obsessive, mellow, and I poop in your bedroom then look at you funny. I'm totally smuggling her in my luggage. 

surprise

I have more support then i thought.

Desperation

I had to apply to welfare yesterday. I'm going to be eating government queso. My mug shot on my E.B.T. card is frightening. To make a very long story short I won't be able to pay rent but I can eat and I may have a little pocket money and I'm being tossed out into the streets. Just when the sun was starting to shine again, it burst into flames and ruined EVERYTHING! Except there have been four little lights in the sky guiding me through this darkness. This is going to be the best chapter because it's my lowest.

blistered feet

getting laid here is easy. finding a job has been an agony i don't wish to repeat.

rejected

i was rejected by starbucks. it's ok i hate them anyway.

Cnemidophorus uniparens

last night i did a bit of drunk dialing. which is incredibly rare. i'm a drunk texter not a dialer. anywhoo i began to talk about these lesbian lizards and how they showed that in a few millenniums we would no longer produce males of the species because just like the lizards do we ladies will be dry humping each other to reproduce. after my shower this afternoon i had a text which read:

I call dibbs on u! In 5 millennea when we are lizards, i will definitely impregnate u! U will be tied down to/with me until our offspring die!

the sap in me thought it was sweet. i think it's just because i'm bleeding.

Harlem

My introduction to Harlem was three gun shots. Pleasant place to work. No job yet but I'm a candidate.

Cabeza

My head feels like it's going to explode. I've sucked down a fist full of ibuprofen but it's no help. I solved a mystery for coconuts a few minutes ago. At the end of the mystery was an escort service.

Que?

My interview this morning was a bust. The guy doing the interviewing was not there the two women in the office told me to call him tommorow to set up another interview day and time. Hurumph!